- Angelica Bennett
The Power Of Your Choice - And What It Means To Own Your Consequences
Updated: Jun 13, 2022
We all own the ability to choose. One of two things happen to people. We either forget the power that this has, or we blame other people for the consequences of our choices.
Everything we have experienced while we live life is influenced by the people around us at any given time. Yet, we always have the ability to choose. If you make choices that are self destructive, or give into a victim mentality where you believe people owe you something, or you carry around a chip on your shoulder, you will have negative consequences as a result of your choices, 100% of the time.
No matter what your history is, we all have the power to choose. What happens when a person forgets that they have the power to alter the course of their life? Usually that shows up as a person that feels like they are a victim to their circumstances, or it is everyone else's fault, or they seek out pity or rescuing from their uncomfortable emotional states.
God gave us free will. He made it so that we could choose where we drive this life of ours. No matter what happens to us, we can always choose to make it worse. We can choose to make a change at anytime to alter the course of our lives for the better. When we forget the power in that, when we refuse to take personal responsibility for our life and our decisions, we are the ones that lose. You give into the idea that it is someone else's fault that your life sucks and that you are helpless, and you stay there. The world becomes a place that hurts you, that is out to get you, and you somehow have no control over the course of your life, that you are alone, worthless, etc, etc, etc. Negative self talk, here we come.
The reality is that when we make choices, and we fight to do what we want to do - which if these are things that are selfish in nature, or just make you feel good, or you want to feel the freedom to choose what you want to do - we need to be just as bold about accepting all of the consequences to these choices. This is what it means to be an adult, to be a healthy, well rounded individual.
To be a healthy person includes understanding that your behavior has long lasting and at times permanent consequences to the relationships in your life. Sometimes your choices create permanent fractures in your relationships, and that is something you have to own and accept. That ownership starts with taking full accountability and full personal responsibility of where your life is right now, because at the end of the day, you created where you are right now.
The power of choice is to understand that no matter how dark you have gotten, how messed up things are, you still have the ability to heal, to renew yourself, to write a much brighter future than the darkness that has been created. God has never left you, even when you believe he has, or when you have tried everything in your power to get Him out of your life. As soon as you start taking personal responsibility, your life starts to change with the help of God.
There are no shortcuts, there are no more excuses, there is no more time to lose. If you want to create a change, remember your ability to alter how your life is right now, and take back control of your life by being honest with yourself, what you have done, the choices you have made and the damage that is done. You cannot talk yourself out of anything, you cannot lie anymore, you cannot blame anyone anymore. This is you, staring back at you in the mirror. There is no more time to waste. It is time to get healthy and start getting real.
Get rid of what is negative in your life right now- this means people, places, and things - and get some positive change happening. Reach out to a counselor to start the healing process, as we are not just physical beings -- we are emotional and spiritual beings too. Counseling is work - it is not just someone to talk to to feel good. If your counselor is not challenging you to be better, they are not doing their job.
You can also choose to stay right where you are, blame others, and live with the consequences of the misery that brings. You can always make things worse. And - you can always make things better. It is not an easy road by any means, and it is not supposed to be. I encourage you to consider the alternative.